So let’s take it from the top and point out everything wrong with this series of commercials.

1. Outdated board shape, trucks, and wheels. You can’t see it all that well here, but if you watch the commercial you’ll see a board that is mostly flat, with a tapering tail, and a pointed nose. And these large, semi-transparent, red wheels mounted on what are obviously not Independent trucks. Now, if this commercial were featuring somebody riding a longboard, or if this were a commercial showing a flashback to the 70s, then I wouldn’t be criticizing it, but given that nobody skates street or ramps (the only type of skating shown in this commercial) with a board, wheels, or trucks like this, it’s strike one.

2. Corporate types. I don’t think even George Powell has ever been in a meeting as corporate as this one. Certainly not Rick or Mike. Correct me if I’m wrong, guys, but this is not the skateboarding industry I know, unless the guys making skateboards for Wal-Mart have meetings like this, but in that case they wouldn’t be doing actual product testing, seeing as how the skateboards at Wal-Mart aren’t real skateboards. Strike two.

BTW – Is Tanya taking a nap?

3. Dork. Please, please, please, advertisers and marketers! Please do not portray skateboarders as being anything like this guy! Where’d you even find this guy? I’ve NEVER met a skater who was anything like this guy in my 20 years of skating. Strike three.

Ok, I don’t have time to take screenshots of all the other mistakes in this campaign, but here’s a list:

4. Product testing cycle. What product testing cycle? I don’t think any real skateboard company has a product testing cycle like this. And if they did, they wouldn’t turn out product like the junk shown in this commercial.

5. ThunderSk8? They “are the dudes who invented the twin tail trend in the early 90s”?

6. Product developer? Find me one skateboard company that has anyone on staff they call a “product developer.” C’mon guys, do your research.

7. Graphics on the top of the board. Once again guys, if you had just walked into a skate shop and looked at decks you’d know that nobody does this.

8. David Wein, pro skateboarder? Yeah, nice rock n’ roll on the launch ramp.

9. Why is Dylan calling Sean if they’re both obviously at the same place, about 10 feet from each other?

10. Helmets for skating flat bars?

Guys–I mean you guys at the ad agency who came up with this–do a half hour of research next time. Buy a skateboarding magazine, visit the website of a real skateboard company, go to a skateshop, talk to a skater–anything! But please don’t churn out this Bill-and-Ted’s-80s-”dude” marketing slurry that is based on outdated stereotypes. Yeah, I know, 99% of your target market might not know any better, but why turn off that 1% when an hour or two of research could prevent it?

Cisco and their ad agency–people working together to make lame advertising.

Here are two more shots.